by Deghasio
“All
those years I was dreaming of other things, I was actually doing what I really
wanted: hanging out with my family, drinking with my friends, making friends
with my family and hanging with my drinking.” – Homer Simpson
After writing about 15-year-old
CiCi Bellis yesterday, I feel the need to assert my age by presenting the
world with my 2014 US Open Drinking Game*, which is as follows:
Drink every
- Changeover
- Break of serve
- Attempted tweener (finish drink)
- Announcer reference to his/her playing days
- Statistic with blatantly small sample size
- Announcer reference to grunting or time violation
- Crowd shot of celebrity of former / eliminated player (2x if former champ)
- Camera shot of player’s boyfriend/girlfriend/coach/family
- Advertisement with former champion
- Reference to player’s last year / best tournament result
- Cut to announcer in stands (finish drink if interview)
- Announcer reference to death / demise of American tennis
- Change of racket (finish if smashed)
- Clothes swap (chug throughout)
*Special
thanks to Sam G. for helping in the creation of this game.
Happy drinkings! Unless you are CiCi Bellis' age, in which case
please wait 4 years and 9 months before participating.
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