The Curse of David Akers Continues to Haunt the Eagles

by Deghasio

Sports curses are stupid. Just check out the Wikipedia page for “Sports-related curses.” The majority of them are ridiculous, recent, have a small sample size, or have already been broken multiple times. Take the Curse of the Bambino—for 86 years it was probably the most famous sports curse in America, then the Red Sox won and no one really mentions it anymore. Sports curses don’t exist.

Except the Curse of David Akers.

On Saturday, the Eagles were eliminated from the wild card race after a 27-24 loss to Washington, and barring a complete Dallas collapse the Eagles will be on vacation once the regular season ends. There is a lot of speculation as to why the Eagles lost to Washington: Sanchez’s interception inside the two-minute warning, kicker Cody Parkey’s seemingly-benign groin injury, Sanchez’s fumble early in the game, poor coaching that led to 13 penalties, the inevitable DeSean Jackson revenge game, and corner Bradley Fletcher’s performance that led to his benching. These are all good theories based on research and observation and facts. They’re also all wrong.

The reason the Eagles were eliminated from the playoffs for the third time in four years dates all the way back to the 2010 season. In the wild card round, Philadelphia, led by a scorching hot Mike Vick, hosted upstart Green Bay in Philly. During the game, the franchise leader in total points, the six-time All-Pro (including that season) David Akers missed two field goals, both from under 50 yards. The Eagles lost 21-16

Information came out after the game that gave the misses some perspective. Just two days before the game, Akers heard from doctors that his daughter Halley had a life-threatening cyst on her ovary. Then-coach Andy Reid spared him no sympathy, saying, “We can all count. Those points would have helped." Akers, to his credit, asked for none, saying after the game, “I really feel badly for my teammates, coaches, the organization and all that. I’ve made a lot of kicks in my day. Today, missing them, it hurts. I don’t know what else to say. I didn’t do what I should be doing.” In the 2011 NFL draft, the Eagles drafted Alex Henery in the fourth round, and David Akers was off to San Francisco.

(Quick tangent: Why don’t NFL teams have contingency plans for kickers? Detroit was practically hosting American Idol for kickers in the first few weeks of the season. It seems like every team is one in-game injury to a kicker away from being completely screwed. Teams have 53 roster spots to play with—why not use two of them for a kicker? Then again this was my strategy in fantasy and I couldn’t make the playoffs in either of my two leagues, so maybe GMs shouldn’t take advice from me.)

Since the Akers’ misses: the Eagles scraped to a .500 record in 2011 before plummeting all the way to 4-12 in 2012. When the Eagles have seemed like they’ve had a chance to succeed, their kryptonite has seemed to be their kickers. Henery made 22 straight FGs in 2013 but was let go and joined the Detroit Lions, where he was released after missing three field goals in a loss. Last season, the Eagles, under new head coach / guru / savior Chip Kelly won double-digit games and hosted the Saints, who in franchise history did not have a road playoff win. Despite the seemingly good odds, the Eagles lost as time expired—after the Saints’ kicker nailed a 32-yard field goal.

Now, I’m not trying to suggest that the Eagles cut David Akers because his daughter (who, by the way, is doing “very well”) was sick. They cut him because it’s almost always more cost-effective to pay a rookie kickers versus a veteran one. It’s not like Akers has been lighting it up since then: he had his final All-Pro season the next year in San Francisco, had an okay year en route to making his only Super Bowl try in 2012, and went 19-24 last year with Detroit.

But the fact remains: needing a win on the road against a division rival, the previously-money Parkey missed two easy field goals. Even the great Chip Kelly was at the mercy of the curse: even though Parkey has a diagnosed groin injury and missed a 34-yarder, Kelly decided not to go for it on 4^th-and-1 deep inside Washington territory. The Eagles missed two field goals and lost by three points (courtesy of Washington kicker Kai Forbath). The Curse of David Akers continues.

The Sandwich: Whatever bologna sandwich is Melvin Beederman’s kryptonite in the kid’s book The Curse of the Bologna Sandwich.